For the Love of Refined Carbohydrates

Remember when you were a kid and your mom wouldn't let you have any cookies because she said it would spoil your dinner? Remember how you thought dinner was already spoiled because of a certain fungi that would be present in the casserole? Then, do you recall that you told yourself that when you were a grown-up you would eat all the cookies and candy you wanted and that would be your dinner? OK maybe that's just my memories I am projecting on the masses, but I must say as a grown-up I haven't really lived up to that little promise I made to myself when I was six. Somehow Heavenly Father saw fit to bless me with a few body image issues that keep me headed for the produce section instead of the bakery when I make my weekly grocery purchases. I guess I should be grateful, but a few weeks ago I had to break free--flabby arms be damned--and I joined some friends on a little junk food excursion.

My roommate Angie claims to be a junk food junkie. That's probably true because she knows all the really good bakeries in the city, eats chips and always seems to have a good stash of candy in her room. A few months ago she bonded with a girl named Andrea at church that has an even larger junk food addiction than my roommate. Andrea stated that in high school, her brown bag lunch of choice was three Snickers bars and an RC Cola. Wow. I was impressed. However, Andrea was not familiar with all the cupcake places in town. I informed her of a little place that is number one in my heart--Sugar Sweet Sunshine--and she, Angie and I decided that we would have to take a trip down there to try it out. I then said that we could stop by Economy Candy and get some other goodies as well. Thus Junk Food Saturday was born.

We decided to get our junk food fix during Labor Day weekend. That Saturday Angie and I met Andrea on the A train, and after switching to a D, and then an F, we arrived in the Lower East Side. We decided to start our fun at Economy Candy, where my other roommate Lacey joined us. Economy Candy is a fun store. Although they don't carry everything there is a fabulous selection of European, novelty, M&Ms, Jelly Bellys and nostalgic treats. I normally don't buy a lot of candy. When I want sugar I usually reach for a cookie, cupcake or pie. But that day I felt like a 13-year- old girl with babysitting money and decided to indulge. I bought a Picnic bar (British-and delish), Haribo Gummi Bears, Jelly Bellys, a Charleston Chew, a little box of Baci and sour cherry balls. I remember that I liked sour cherry balls as a kid, but I had forgotten about them. Let me tell you, I renewed my love for that confection. I kind of can't wait to get some more.

The next stop was Sugar Sweet Sunshine (SSS), which is just a half a short block away from the candy store. SSS is the best cupcake place in NYC. A friend referred me to this place, and once while wandering around the Lower East Side I found it and decided to see if the cupcakes were indeed as good as I was told. At that time I was pretty much pro-Magnolia, despite the tourist-filled line. Things changed when I sunk my teeth into a moist pistachio-flavored cupcake. And since that wonderful day in August, I haven't had a better cupcake. On Junk Food Saturday I finally decided to try the pumpkin flavored cupcake. It was divine, but not as good as their other flavors. Still, I licked the wrapper and debated eating another one. Andrea dived right into her second cupcake. I thought long and hard, and since I knew our day was not done, I just took a good, long whiff of my remaining cupcakes and had a few sour cherry balls instead.

Our next stop on our junk food adventure was for something salty to balance all the sweet. One would think that our next stop would be for a pickle considering that particular neighborhood is home to all the big pickle vendors. However, all the big pickle vendors are Jewish, and their establishments are closed on Saturdays. (Good for them for observing their Sabbath.) Instead we decided to mix our salt with a little trans fat and headed to Brooklyn for the Atlantic Chip Shop, a little restaurant that serves traditional British fare like crispy, greasy, salty fish and chips. In a word, YUM. I really like fish and chips, and this was the best fish and chips I have ever eaten. The only way they could be better was if I was actually eating them in London. I ate every last bit, and it was a large piece of fish. But we didn't just stop there.

You are probably amazed that we weren't wanting to hurl at this moment. Let me warn you, Junk Food Days are not for the weak of stomach. And you have to pace yourself. Andrea did regret her second cupcake. But we still ordered dessert.

Not only does the Chip Shop have great fish and chips, they also serve up some fried treats for dessert. It was hard to decide which treat to get so we decided to split a fried Twinkie, Mars bar, and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I have always been a Twinkie fan, but they are so good deep fried; I enjoyed it over the other two candies, but they did not disappoint either. The Mars bar was perfectly gooey, and the Reese's cups tasted even richer. The Twinkie with its tart raspberry sauce just surpassed the warm, melted chocolate of the candy bars. Plus I liked the combination of the crisp outer shell with the soft, creamy filling. Double YUM.

And then we were done. Well, we still had candy to munch on later, but as far as the adventure goes, we were done. I patted my happy tummy and said good-bye to five years of my life. But those were the Depends years anyway. Since we had so much fun, we decided that we were going to make it a recurring activity to try out all the great bakeries, candy stores, and sundry junk food places this great city has to offer. Six-year-old me is very excited about that.