Wax On, Wax Off

There are occasions when I wish I was still living in the United States. Say, for example, you are at home alone with nothing to do and all of a sudden an awesomely bad movie comes on and you want to blog about this event (because, as I mentioned, you are alone with no one to hear your commentary), but you can't because you haven't had internet at home for a month. This was the situation last night when I discovered Karate Kid II while flipping channels. So I will try to write a bit of what came to mind while watching it.

I so know what you're thinking, "Karate Kid II was not a bad film--it was awesome!" Well, let me remind you that you were probably still in elementary school when you last saw this film, so guess what, the film is not like a fine wine and definitely did not get better with age. However, the beauty of nostalgia is, the memories of this movie do have a tendency to outweigh the particularities of its cheesy film-making. So of course a flood of memories came racing to forefront of my mind:

We all practised the crane-style kick as exhibited during the first flick, and repeated, although not as successfully, in the second. Don't even deny it. We all karate-chopped our siblings. (I have a certain cousin in Texas who is definitely guilty of that. He probably doesn't read this, but he knows who he is.) We "painted the fence," "waxed on and waxed off" and when Karate Kid II came about, we added breathing-focused-hands-in-prayer-position-while-moving-them-up-and-forward, as shown below before Danialsan chops his way through six sheets of ice.

But through all our fond memories of sitting in time-out after practising our moves on siblings or smaller neighborhood children, we forget the flaws of the film. I could go on and on about the bad dialogue (I had a lot of "did he really just say that?" moments), stereotyping, and why I still think that when she was younger my sister looked like Ralph Macchio, I would like to focus a little on costuming. Although the movie took place in the 80's, it seems that Okinawa was stuck in the 1950's. Chozen (the enemy kid...didn't know that was his name until I watched the credits) was dressed like mafia-greaser, and there was a sock hop with poodle skirts. (Do you recall that little dance that Danielsan and the girl were invited to, by none other than B.D. Wong, might I add?) I guess every teenage girl in Okinawa owns a crinoline.
I am a little annoyed that I couldn't find an image of Danielsan and his wardrobe. I thought it strange that he wore that Asian bandana in public, along with his pink-checked flannel shirt and high-waisted, baggy "mom jeans." That was the best part. I am pretty sure the waistline covered his navel. I recall that some people made fun of our President's similar denim choice during a baseball game, but perhaps he was trying to channel a little Karate Kid to help him get that pitch over the plate. It would have looked a little ridiculous if he tried the hands-in-prayer-focus-breathy-thing, so the jeans were probably the best thing he could have done.

The jeans did not stop him from getting the girl, as they would today. Gentlemen, take note. I certainly recall my girly affection for the Peter Cetera hit "Glory of Love" written for the film. Last night, part of me wanted to sing along and then buy it off of iTunes. I refrained; instead I just laughed heartily, and wished my sister was sitting next to me so I could slap her knee in acknowledgment of the memories we have surrounding the song and the movie. I know she would do the same thing.

In the end Danielsan and Mr. Miyagi saved the girl, the town, their honor and the day, and I sat on my bed pretty pleased that I found such a good way to pass the evening. But while watching the credits, I noticed something a little disconcerting that broke my childhood heart: Karate Kid II wasn't even filmed in Okinawa; it was filmed in Hawaii. I felt so deceived in a way. Who knows, maybe if it was actually filmed in Japan, it may not have been so awesomely bad, and I wouldn't be able to make fun of it.