Since I have been home my main focus--however unfocused the process has become--is to get a job, save money, and figure out a good-enough career path for me to follow. Unfortunately certain people in my family seem to think I should also be concerned about dating. And a certain member of my family thinks it would be a good idea to set up an online account for me. (I have warned this person that I will never ever ever speak to him/her again if it happens. Consider this your second warning.)
I'll admit that some people have been very successful at finding a match via the internet. My cousin met a completely functioning individual that we have been more than happy to have as part of the extended family. Maybe I could be just as fortunate. My biggest issue is with the whole process of searching on the internet. It's not like, say for example, shoe shopping online.
To begin with, if I want to shop for shoes online, I can log onto Zappos or Piperlime without having to announce myself first. I don't need to create a "Shoe Shopper Profile" stating that I am a "tall brunette with an 8 1/2 shoe size looking for a classic yet modern black pump to wear to work, church, and fun social gatherings." Shoe stores do not care if I am a Taurus or if I like candle-lit dinners and long walks on the beach, and they don't need a picture of me. The best part is that I don't have to cross my fingers and hope that the pair of shoes I like will also choose me. Zappos and Piperlime just want me to look, find the right shoe (and the left, for that matter), purchase, and live happily ever after in my sleek, black Calvin Klein pumps with the wicked high heels.
Plus, I have never had to pay a fee for the privilege to shop for shoes. Sure, we have to fork out the cash when we find something, but I do believe it is one of our inalienable rights to shoe shop for free. I am pretty sure it is categorized under the "pursuit of happiness" part of the deal. After all, who wants to pay a fee, and then not find anything, or worse--be rejected? I generally do not pay to be rejected. That is just mean. Cruelly and unusually. I can get rejected for free.
Truthfully, when I look for shoes I would rather go to a brick-and-mortar shoe store to do the shopping. I have to try on before I buy. So my whole approach to dating is similar: look for the fellows in the places where fellows I would want to date should be, and if I am lucky, talk to them. Normally I got to places like church, social gatherings with friends, or through worthy recommendations from other friends. Please note, I am dismally unsuccessful, as you probably have guessed. For example, nearly two weeks ago my sister and I dragged ourselves to a Single Adult Conference filled with the region's selection of "shoes". I met some nice girls, too bad I shop for men. I did talk to some options that were nice and probably normal...loafers. I am in the market for sleek, black, classy-yet-modern pumps of the Calvin Klein variety (kind of like the ones I saw at Macy's this May but didn't have enough money to purchase) but will be perfectly happy with Nine West, Jessica Simpson, Miz Mooz, Cole Haan, Franco Sarto, etc. you get the idea. There were some there that looked like they could fit the bill, but they either act like custom-made, one-of-a-kind Salvatore Ferragamos, and not interested in communicating with someone who just wants a pair of Calvin Kleins, or they were already taken. Should I just settle for loafers when that shoe isn't what I want/need?
Shoe shopping can have challenges just like people shopping, but when I find the pair I want, that fits perfectly, and is in my budget, I can proceed to checkout. In the dating/relationship world it would be nice to go a certain place, pick out what I want, present myself, and then...proceed to checkout. But people just don't work that way. With my luck, after going to a certain place, picking out someone and presenting myself, I will most likely get laughed at.
So, I either need to make my peace with a life of loafers, or I will just have to splurge and buy those nice Calvin Klein pumps I saw this May. Or the yellow flats I saw at Target. Either way, I just want to go shoe shopping.
7 comments:
This is such a great post. I think it ought to be shared with others, like in the Bloggernacle section of mormontimes.com, or in some sort of Ensign for young adults. Or on a dating website....
I'm all for sharing. How do I do that?
Again, mighty well written piece. However, it is not very smart to compare one with shoes, because you are showing that you are judging people from the outside and not the whole person. Because you can have a beautiful pair of shoes, pay for them online, or at a brick and mortar store. What happens? They get worn out, break, or even worse. They give you blisters, or in grown toenails. there are no perfect men or women for that matter. We might be polished on the outside but stinky and warty on the inside. Or, we might be tired and worn on the outside, but beautifully manicured and polished on the inside, and all we need is someone to take the time and care to take care of us. The internet has done for shoe shopping what it has done for dating. You can have a beautiful girl who loves hi end shoes, but lives in a small town where there is only a Wal-mart. The internet opened it up so she can order that beautiful pair of Italian heels that cost $300 instead of $19.95. Internet dating is the same way. It just opens the gates of shopping a little more. Giving you more options. And the good thing about shoes is that you can have limitless supplies. Last time I checked it is not quite politically or morally correct to have more than one spouse. If I am wrong, than I would like to keep my tried and true pair of worn Cowboy boots, and buy a pair of tall black Will Smiths or pair of brown-haired flat Mark Wahlbergs.
Have I told you how much I love reading your posts? You should write for a magazine!
Good luck "shoe shopping"! =)
If dating were like shoe shopping, I'd be paired with my dream Louboutins right now!
HA-larious!
I love this. I've been "stalking" your Blog for a while now--hope that doesn't freak you out. And this piece is pure brilliance. I agree wholeheartedly with all of it.
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