Body Sculpting

When I moved to New York I stopped going to the gym. I kept my membership at Bally's for a while until I decided that I could not carry everything I owned from the gym to my place of employment (7 big blocks), and plus the Bally's I went to was dark, dank, and didn't have any good classes in the morning or after work. So instead I joined a Crunch gym that was not even finished. I spent an entire summer without working out. I didn't even gain weight. Granted, I am walking around a lot more, but I am not eating as healthy as I used to. I don't get it.

But I am back at the gym now. Crunch finally opened its doors, and I now have the task of making workouts part of my schedule. It is hard, I am having a hard time getting out of bed or being motivated after work. Skinny jeans helps the motivation process. You may wonder why I chose Crunch over Bally's when I decided that working out is a necessary part of my life again. Well, Crunch is only 4 short blocks from work and they will soon be renting out lockers, thus I will eliminate that whole carrying everything I own back and forth. They also have hair dryers, towels, shampoo, conditioner, and lotion, so I actually have less to carry anyway. All they need to do now is put an Aveda, Sephora, and Saks in the locker room, and then I'll only have to bring my undies and a wallet. Crunch also is famous for its innovative classes, like stilleto aerobics, BOSU(R) Bootcamp, Buff Yoga, and Pole Dancing. (I am seriously contemplating the pole dancing class. It could come in handy one day.) These classes have been part of what gets me to the gym.

I took Buff Yoga on Thursday. It is basically a yoga class that uses weights and other strength moves. And as I write on a Saturday afternoon, my bottom still hurts. Good class. Last night I went to the Funk class--aerobics using funk dance moves. I thought it would be more fun than a treadmill. By the end of the class, however, I decided that tread mills were more fun. The class was filled with tiny girls who really got into it. I suspect they took the class to either prepare for that evening's club escapades or they hoped to be a dancer on some hip hop superstar's next video with rump shaking chicks. Then there was me: the tall gangly one. Sometimes I don't remember that I am tall. But seeing myself in a mirror surrounded by tiny Pussycat Doll wannabees harshly reminded me that I am a giant. A giant that has a hard time with rapid footwork.

The class started out fine. I can shake my rump like the best of them, but after we warmed up, the instructor led us into a routine. This is a normal occurrence in aerobics classes, and I can do a grapevine in my sleep, but I could not do the funk footwork. There were a lot of obstacles in my way. First of all the music was really loud, and I could barely hear the instructor. Second, she didn't teach the steps slowly. I imagine she thought we all could dance, and lastly I was never good at routines. I am not an inhibited dancer, but routines and line dances befuddle me. I am so much better at freestyle.

We went through the routine several times, but I actually got worse as the class went on. One particularly good dancer angered me. She was showing off, flipping her hair around because she could do the dance moves (probably imagining herself in the next Ludcris video.) She reminded me of the Very Flexible Girl at Bally's who would flip her long hair around after she would drop into the splits into the middle of the gym. I have nothing against the Hair Flip--I do it rather well--I just dislike the blatant showing off. I only wish I didn't look like one of those tall girls who cannot control the way their bodies move. (Watch the 6 feet tall twins on America's next top model and you will know what I mean.)

Halfway through the class I saw people enter the Indoor Cycling class. I've done that class before and I love it. After tripping over my feet for the umpteenth time, I really wanted to be in there. Cycling is easy; all I have to do is pedal. Cycling is also fun because I usually imagine that I am racing with Lance, Floyd, Ivan, and Dave Zabriskie. (Congrats to Dave for winning the silver medal at the World Time Trial Championships!!) So the verdict on the Funk Class: I'll leave that to the Solid Gold dancers, and instead join the ranks of elite cyclist hopefuls. But I may try out that pole dancing class. It really may be useful one day!